By Sabrina Samra, Teacher in Shanghai (2014-ongoing)

On the 7th July, I returned to Birmingham, England – “home sweet home”. My first thoughts were weird really, it hadn’t quite sunk in that I was in fact, after practically a year, “home”. The weirdness stemmed from the fact that Birmingham, in some ways, wasn’t really “home” for me anymore. I’d passionately embraced life in Shanghai, and genuinely created a home, routine and way of life out there. Nevertheless, Birmingham, my family and my friends, all held a place in my heart – which I was excited to be close to and with again.

The first initial cultural shocks I experienced were quite practical really. For instance, being able to drink the water from the tap without boiling it, using a normal toilet and using a knife and fork rather than chopsticks. A friend of mine in Shanghai, who works for the same company as me, returned to America and says she also experienced culture shock in regards to small things like this. She said, “Yes! Like cleaning after myself after I eat at a fast food restaurant. Totally forgot we do that here!”

I suppose one of the strangest things returning to England was actually just being able to relax, spend quality time with family, friends and not have a crazy, busy, hectic, time – often the case in Shanghai. Admittedly, for me, I felt busy and occupied all Summer catching up with all my various friends and family! It was like every meetup was an occasion! I often heard “Let’s go for dinner haven’t seen you in a year!” “Let’s have a drink, won’t see you for another year!” This has definitely led me to minus figures in my bank account!

However, Teach English In China’s Fabienne and Edward commented they became slightly “bored” and Edward specifically says “I’ve gone from being so busy that I always felt tired to having to make a deliberate effort to simply remain occupied”. I guess this is specific to everyone, but it was definitely nice to just relax and watch Keeping up with the Kardashians and Eastenders every evening. In fact, some friends I asked, such as Teach English In China’s Thomas Lane, commented, “No, not at all. It’s been easy to get back into English habits and English food etc. The only thing I would say is I miss China”.

Now that was a response I could definitely relate to because as much as I was absolutely loving my time back home, and travelling around Europe, I really did genuinely, deeply miss China. It really is a different world to me. Initially everything is a shock, change and contrast. But, eventually the crazy things that, at first, made no sense become familiar and settling.

One further comment to add is that I’ve never experienced such kindness as I have in China and other parts of Asia. For example, as I am now completing this article in my first week back returning to Shanghai, I can give a very current example. Sunaina and I stayed in an Airbnb when we first arrived and finally I found an apartment. We had SO many bags and four heavy suitcases. Somehow or another we had to flag down a taxi or call an Uber to take us to my new apartment location. Unfortunately, no taxi drivers stopped (particularly as we were on a quiet road) and so we were gently panicked. Fortunately, a lovely Chinese girl, probably a similar age to ourselves, stopped to help. We explained our situation, she called an Uber, waited with us for it to come and insisted to pay (of course I forced some money into her bag and could not thank her enough). It’s situations like this that truly make China special to me.

Perhaps this is one of the contributing factors as to why Fabienne also commented that she felt “weirdly homesick” being back in England and missed her home China. Fabienne states, “I don’t think this feeling will go away immediately because knowing I won’t go back to china has a real sense of loss and sadness to it actually in terms of the country and things I liked there. Her final comment was, “I think it’s just one of those things isn’t it… a loss of a place that was a home. I find seeing Chinese things oddly comforting!”

On a similar note, my fellow friend and old work colleague, Charles Steele, from America, told me that he “actually missed china me going back home made me realise why I left America in the first place. People can say what they want but China has this effect on you more than you realise. I feel safe in both countries but in America I don’t feel as comfortable as I do in china.” I totally agree with this actually, it’s hard to explain unless you actually come out and live here, but I genuinely feel at peace, happy and comfortable out here. It’s ironic really, because as a foreigner we stand out and draw attention, yet so many of us happily make a home out here. Getting an exact figure of the amount of expats in Shanghai, let alone China, is demanding as there are so many foreigners from Canada, Europe, America, Japan, Korea, India and so many other parts of the world. China is making for a home to all, if it wasn’t people surely wouldn’t decide to stay for more and more years.

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Furthermore, in regards to the culture shock upon returning to your home country after living in China, my friend and ex-colleague, Curtis, commented that “feeling like nobody understands what you’re talking about is a big part, you tell a story you know in Shanghai or from travelling Asia would have been sure to get a laugh, instead all you get are stares. You begin to question if you understand your home as well as you remember, you feel or at least I do a little bit the outsider even among the family”. This is a deeper, more touching comment that I in fact can also relate to. Having spent a year away from home, creating different memories, different associations, different experiences, it can be very difficult to adjust to being back home where these familiarities are no longer familiarities to everyone around you.

I felt I was often dreaming and reflecting about my year abroad, the people I met, the countries I visited, places I saw, food I tasted and activities I tried. It can feel as if this is all in your memory and own thoughts now, creating quite a sad and hollow feeling of missing this adventure. To add to this, was in fact that upon my arrival home… I literally felt like nothing had changed! I can honestly say that my year abroad teaching English in China changed me as a person. I’ve grown, learned, prospered, embraced, experienced and changed for the better. Life is a journey in which we are constantly advancing, learning, growing as people. My year in China and travelling around Asia really changed me, and will stay with me forever. This can lead to returning home feeling a bit like a step back in some ways. A step into the past. Reality but also not reality anymore.

For example, this old reality from back home can become strangely unfamiliar. Teach English In China’s Edward Shambrook comments, “Strangely, it can also be a little strange being in familiar surroundings. For example, going into a café and being able to order without there being a language barrier is actually surprisingly unsettling. Of course it’s more convenient where that language barrier doesn’t exist. But going into a café and finding it difficult to even order a piece of cake, whilst frustrating, is also the kind of thing that reminds you that you’re stepping out of your comfort zone in search of an adventure. Whereas being able to do that with such ease conversely reminds me that I’m not in familiar surroundings. And whilst that’s nice precisely because it feels so familiar, its simultaneously difficult because it reminds me that I’m not being adventurous as of this moment”.

Moreover, reverse culture shock can take many forms. On a more social level Teach English In China’s Jennifer Lee Roman, who returned to Australia this Summer, comments “I think the biggest thing that has affected me is re-learning social customs – like whether you should greet someone by handshake or hug, or how to act around people.” I totally agree with this as in China in some situations its common to hug and in other situations I’ve found myself going in for a hug and subtly getting rejected! This probably led me to not hug so much back in England. Jennifer also comments about using simpler English as for a year we are hanging out with Chinese friends who perhaps need us to speak slower and more simply. I have found my English has sort of improved, my accent has gone slightly American (due to American/Canadian friends) and I am often flustered in my words! This demonstrates some social impacts of reverse culture shock, which are by no means permanent!

To conclude, reverse culture shock, upon returning home after a year or so away living and working in China, varies in impact depending on the person. Some of us experience it a lot in various social, emotional and practical ways; and others not at all. One common factor between us all, it seems, is that there is home created in China that is deeply missed. Perhaps this is the most important factor in regards to, for example, mine, Edward’s and Thomas’s decisions to return to China for another year. Ultimately, it’s a wonderful experience, living, knowing, working and enjoying two countries. It open’s your mind and your heart. Give it a go!

Check out Sabrina’s blog about her adventures in China Sabrina’s ‘Wanderlust East’ blog